This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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