i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
