My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
