Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
