he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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