After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
be right there i have to get my cape
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
