I didn't shave. On purpose
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
