She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
