i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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