you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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