Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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