Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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