Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
