I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
