True but thats because hes a fetus.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
