dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
