found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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