I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I intend to get homeless drunk
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
