Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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