Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
