the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
