I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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