also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
