Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
