I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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