Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize