didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
