i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
