Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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