so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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