does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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