i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
