even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
