I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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