I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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