Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
