Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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