"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize