she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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