cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
only you would photoshop your dick
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
