I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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