Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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