Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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