Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize