I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
