I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
