dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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