your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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