He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
