he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
