It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
