My Higher Power is John Stamos
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
