i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize