They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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