Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
