we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
this is an emotional support booty call
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
