My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
