Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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