He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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