id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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