It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
