after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
