LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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