I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
